Country Living

First, a couple pictures of my babies, because why not?

Ramses is my love

Fiona selfie

So Philip listens to me complain. A lot. What about, you might ask?

Bugs.

As you may have gathered from reading this blog, I hate bugs. All bugs. I know that they are here for a purpose, and I appreciate that...but can we all agree to just eradicate some types? Like, scorpions, mosquitoes, ticks, flies...I'll even keep wasps if we can get rid of the rest of those. Yes? No? Sigh.

So last night I happened to open my back door just in time to see a scorpion walking along the railing of my porch. It settled down into a groove, so I decided to do an experiment. I've been told by many people that if you put alcohol (rubbing) on a scorpion, it will "go mad and sting itself." So, I enlisted the help of my roommate, then tried this out myself.

All that happened was that the scorpion started at the feel of the liquid on its back and ran under the railing, where it hung like a silent, lethal ninja.

We tried to knock it off with a flyswatter (with me holding a boot, ready to stomp it when it fell), but it fell into a pile of leaves, and neither of us wanted to go traipse around to find it. So, my roommate went and got bug spray and doused the pile very liberally, spraying all around the porch afterward for good measure. I'm not sure we got any spray on the scorpion; perhaps last night it was one of the lucky few that got away.

Afterwards I walked back inside. I was experiencing the same prickly feeling I get after seeing any scorpion--my skin starts feeling like things are crawling all over it--particularly against the back of my leg. I dismissed it as my usual paranoia and went and laid down on my bed. I kept feeling something itchy against the waistband of my pants, so I reached back to grab the tag and move it, thinking it was the source of the discomfort. It was then that I realized that whatever was bothering me was not attached to my pants. I folded the waistband down, caught a glimpse of something brown, and....

Well, you can imagine the string of profanity that poured forth. Into poor Philip's ear, as I was on the phone with him.

No, it was not a scorpion (my first thought). It was this:

I have no idea what it is, and frankly, I'm pretty sure I'd rather stay blissfully ignorant. Philip had to talk me down after the incident (I was shaking so hard I could barely put on another pair of pants--because I wasn't putting the others back on). I lamented living where I do and not being able to sleep super well because I'm constantly worried about something getting into bed with me.

He finally responded with, "You know, you don't have to deal with all of these bugs if you live in the city."

To which I replied, "I know, but I love living in the country!"

Sigh.