Rethought.

So I had this whole angsty post typed up yesterday about how much I was disliking wedding planning and how not fun it was when you didn't have a bank vault at your disposal. It was long, and it was dark. I felt fully vindicated as I wrote it. And yet, I did not hit "Publish."

Now, I'm glad I didn't. Because since venting, I've started thinking about what the wedding is leading up to: life with a man whom I love, a strong Christian man who has endured my mood swings, tears, and outbursts these last few weeks of planning with patience and understanding.

You see, weddings are expensive. And I mean EXPENSIVE. We have yet to find a venue that doesn't charge everything we've saved for the wedding and then some. And I am so frustrated and stressed out by it.

And yet, I looked beyond the wedding yesterday after pouring my anger into my blog post, and I remembered that it's just a party so that your friends and family get to celebrate with you. It's the start of a new life together. Sure, it's a big event, but it's not so big that it warrants every ounce of my attention every hour of the day. I think I've only ridden my horse once since getting engaged; that's how consumed by this I've let myself become. And the wedding is still 6 months away.

So, I'm not saying that I've relaxed about trying to find a venue. Seeing as the wedding is only six months away, we do need to nail that down pretty soon here to make sure we get our date. But I'm trying to not be my usual control-freak self so I can give it up to God. It seems like a petty request, but he's answered even pettier prayers for me.

It is a rare event when I stop and think before submitting something in anger. Maybe this is a sign that I'm growing and learning how to reign in the beast that is my temper.