I differentiate this from the constructive criticism I get on my school work, which I appreciate as it helps me to learn and improve my writing/designing etc. I also differentiate it from people that have my best interests in mind who are simply passing on wisdom they've learned over the years.
But I cannot stand it when people tell me what/how to do things, just to talk themselves up or to try and put me down.
Example: I had Rosa out the other day, and I was working with her on getting used to a longe line, as she's pretty wild right now. She had essentially a year off after she was halter broken, so I can't blame her there. One of my neighbors saw me and stopped by to inquire about her, as he knew she was new. I've talked to this neighbor in the past, as he owns some horses down the road from me. He told me at the time that he has broken hundreds of horses. I've broken two, so I could stand to learn from him, as I'm sure he has seen every personality type there is.
However, he shot himself in the foot by immediately telling me about how awful the guy (SC) I bought her from was, and saying that if SC had had anything to do with her, I was going to have a problem on my hands with her. I really don't like it when people put each other down in the horse world. If there is serious evidence for a negative quality, then all one needs to say is a statement of the facts. Otherwise, we're all in this hobby together, and we all have a high probability of crossing paths with each other at some point, so burning bridges is a stupid thing to do. Also, I watched SC load her onto the trailer, and he was nothing but patient and kind to her so as not to traumatize her. I know people can put on different faces, but loading a yearling onto a trailer is a semi-stressful situation for all involved, and he handled it very well.
He then proceeded to tell me everything that I needed to be doing with the colt, how I needed to start her, etc. One of his words of wisdom was "If you're breaking her to do English with her, then you're wasting your time." At this I wanted to respond with some not very nice words, but I simply said tightly, "I wasn't planning on it, but thanks." At the end of our conversation, which lasted so long that my carefully planned out evening went into the trash and I had to feed in the dark, I felt defeated, unqualified, and like I had made a terrible decision in getting Rosa. And this is just what I'm talking about- "advice" that is meant more to make the other person look better, while tearing the recipient down.
This dejected feeling lasted a couple of days- and I've only owned the horse a week! But it subsided when I started teaching Rosa how to longe. I've never had to go from scratch like that, so I was kind of making it up as I went along. And guess what? Yesterday, she was longing around me without stopping/turning in/breaking gait. So I must be doing something right!
Rosa is going to be an interesting project, since she knows absolutely nothing. We had to revisit leading the other day- the same day that I spent 2 hours trying to catch her in the paddock. Also, since she's on the smaller end- something I do semi-blame on her former owner for not feeding her anything more than grass- I'm going to have to give her some more time to grow before I can break her. So, we'll see. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with an absolutely clean slate.
In other news, there are a lot of exciting things going on in my life right now, so I'm trying to hand them all up to God to let Him carry them where He wants them. Each brings forth its own challenges, but I know that God has a plan and will see me through them how He sees fit!
More Rosa pics:
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| At the place I got her from with bff Kyle in the background |
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| "WHAT'S THAT?!" |
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| Pretending to tie |
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| Action shot |
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