I've been working towards showing Sienna at an APHA show coming up at the end of the month. In addition to working her pretty hard, I've been locking her up at night and only letting her out into a small paddock during the day. She's actually looking less pregnant and more like a fit horse!
However, after a trip to the emergency room Saturday, where it was discovered that I have a kidney stone in my right kidney and some sort of growth on my left kidney, it would appear that my efforts were all for naught.
At first it was thought that the growth on my kidney was a hemorrhagic cyst, basically a cyst that has started bleeding into the kidney. However, the urologist I visited today isn't so sure. I don't remember a lot of the visit, due to him throwing around "rare kidney cancer" and "really rare bladder cancer". I barely made it out of the room before I burst into tears.
My mom assures me that he just wants to rule them out, that he isn't necessarily saying I have one of those. Apparently I could have any number of things.
I can't tell you how surreal it is to sit in a room and have a doctor discuss the possibility that you have cancer. I even thought something along the lines of "how in the world is this happening right now?".
I'd say I'm not panicking yet, but that's not true. What I am trying to do is trust God that His plan will work through this and that somehow He will be glorified in the process. I will be undergoing another cat scan on Monday with iodine so he can get a better picture of my kidneys. I'm praying for a good result.
And meanwhile, I'm really missing riding. I'm sad my show isn't going to work out, and I'm even sadder we won't be ready for the jumping show. I hope that I'll be riding again soon enough; in the meantime, just have to get through the days ahead.
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