Hope

My last blog was titled, "New Beginnings", which may have been some sort of psychic foreshadowing on my part.

I finally know what I want to do career-wise.

I finally have steps I can take to get there.

I finally have a path I can go on, and I have new goals that have popped up to get me there.

I've spent the last three years wallowing, not knowing why I was stuck where I was. I won't say those years were wasted, as I think God used them to grow me and get me where I am today. And who knows, maybe I made a difference in someone else's life. I certainly would not have the friendships I have today if I had left College Station when I wanted to, and because of that, I am so grateful that I stayed. I got to spend yesterday with two amazing people- Elizabeth and Becky- people I would not have met if I had moved away from College Station in 2010 like I was wanting. I got to spend the day before with a couple of my bffs- Patricia and Kaitlin- and I was also able to make a new friendship with a sweet girl named Michele. This weekend was such a blessing, and, when I was least expecting it, it made me realize what I want. Where I think I should be be focusing my efforts now, where my opportunities lie. It all feels so right, it's incredible. I haven't had assurance like this career-wise ever.

I've officially applied to grad school. I've applied to jobs that will get me the actual experience I need to be successful. I feel like God is working in my life right now.

I still need to find new living arrangements, a new job obviously, etc., etc. But I feel like if this is indeed what God wants for me right now, He will provide. I just have to ask Him and let Him part the way for me.

And my 2 horses, 2 dogs, and 1 big fluffy cat.

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New Beginnings

After being out of the saddle for a few weeks due to my knee, I decided yesterday was the time to get back into the groove with Sienna. So, I donned my tall boots, work breeches, and helmet- along with a spaghetti strap tank and sunglasses. Yes, I was that rider.

Additionally, I was so excited to ride that I forwent longing. Go big or go home, I say.

We stretched and loosened up, and then... we worked on trotting to walking transistions, something that Sienna definitely knew how to do before my riding hiatus. After she remembered how to do those, we worked on whoaing. Again, something that she definitely knows (and is even one of her saving graces). Let me tell you, it's SO MUCH FUN reminding her that she knows how to do stuff.

After all of that, however, I did some trotting in two point, something that I think kind of confused her at first ("Mom? What? Are you asking me to slow down? To speed up? To dodge to the left out from under you so you fall off (which didn't happen, for the record)??"). But the most exciting part was cantering in two-point! We did our regular circles around and through trees, and for the most part, she kept in gear through it all. But then, I surprised her by pointing her in a straight line across the yard, and off we went, me clinging to her neck like a jockey. She definitely put her head up, ears forward, and picked up speed- and I LOVED every minute of it. I was grinning like a lunatic as I came back in contact with the saddle and we dropped back to the trot.

My aspirations for her have evolved the longer I've ridden her- I started out wanting to make her an all around horse, for instance, and then switched to hunter under saddle- but now I'm thinking maybe we won't be as bad at this jumping thing as I figured we would be. Granted, I say that not having tried her over a jump yet, and there are some confidence issues I'm going to have to get over for myself there, but I am excited!

Now, I just have to find and/or make some practice jumps. I'm pretty sure that neither the massive wood pile nor Fiona's agility jump are going to serve my purpose here:

Surely Sienna will squeeze through...?

We cooled off afterward by riding down the road the opposite direction from where we usually ride, which means that my roommate's annoying horse can follow right next to us all the way down the fence, screaming and bucking and bolting. If anyone was outside, they would have heard a few choice words, in addition to my thoughts on the one thing that horse is good for- but I digress. Sienna was a champ, even with the other horse running at her and being a idiot. Oh, she looked at him, but not once did she try to join him. I think she was really just wondering what he was doing and why on earth he would want to expend so much energy. Meanwhile, my angel of an appaloosa just watched from her feed bucket across the pasture, knowing that dinner would be coming soon.

Speaking of Chica, I finally got her neurectomy scheduled, which I have mixed feelings about. Once it's done, there is no going back. I'm not worried about her value going down or anything, since I have no plans on ever selling her, and I do think it's the right thing to do after watching her favor her foot for the last few months. I just want everything to go smoothly. Surgery is always a scary thing, due to possible complications that can arise.

Ramses is finally starting to show signs of having an appetite again. Usually weighing around 15-16 pounds, he has dropped to under 13 over the last few weeks due to everything with his urinary blockage and diet change. If you run your hand over his back, you can feel his spinal cord. He is still as plush plush as ever, but it makes me so sad! Fortunately, after trying food number 4, I seem to have found something he'll eat. Still working on switching him to a prescription wet food, but that may be a lost cause. I do think that part of what caused his appetite to come back was his sudden interest in the dogs' food:

"Hey, you gonna eat that?"

 And now for a montage of my favorite children:

Scholarly Romeo.

Can you tell who got the short end of the stick on where to sleep?

Ramses enjoys confounding Fiona.

Fiona is the tiniest of them all.

I love them all. They keep me so entertained (and give my phone's photo gallery something to do- it is currently at 433 pictures, and I can guarantee that at least 375 of them are of at least one of my crew).

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Fabulous, darling!

I decided yesterday evening to have an impromptu photo shoot with my equines and canines. The weather was nice, and since I'm still off riding, I needed an excuse to keep me out with the ponies past regular grooming time.

I started off with Chica. She wasn't too dirty, so she got a quick brushing, mane and tail comb out, and a few spritzes of Pyranha fly spray.

Not too shabby for a girl of almost 17 years!

She came ready to pose- I don't think she has ever been better for pictures!

Apparently this is the only head shot I got of this side of her face?

Sienna would have been next, but she was a mudball. So, she got a quick bath, and then she stood in the sun to dry while I did the dogs.

First up, Romeo! And his studly collar :)

Me: "Are you hungry?" Romeo: *head tilt*

Gotta appreciate a guy with a sense of humor.

So handsome!

Next was the little gremlin herself, Miss Fiona.

Little fox

Being a good girl!

Mischievous corgi

Last but not least, Sienna. Her thoughts on the whole process:

"I don't like standing still for photos, thank you."

It has been a lesson in humility going from a horse that I can order around by voice commands- aka, a horse that will stand and stay while I take pictures, and who comes to me when I call her- to a horse that walks off (and sometimes trots if she's feeling particularly frisky) with me yelling "Whoa. WHOA!" to no avail. Whereas with Chica I could set the shot up, move around to get the angle I wanted, and basically take my sweet time- everything with Sienna was on the fly. "She's standing still for a millisecond! CLICK!" I am happy with some of the ones I got of her, although I couldn't get a very good head shot since she refused to look at me.

One of my favorites from the whole day

The askew angle and Sienna's eye show what I was dealing with here.

Preeeeetty girl.

I realized something while taking these pictures: I have beautiful, photogenic animals. That may sound arrogant, but I don't think it's a bad thing to revel in the beauty of God's creations. And I can't credit their collection to myself, as Romeo found me, I didn't have a choice when picking Fiona, and Sienna was given to me. The only one I picked was Chica, and I didn't even think she was as pretty as the other option at the time. Now I see the error of my ways, as I think Chica is absolutely GORGEOUS. But seriously, aren't they all such a fabulous bunch? I used to not even really like sorrels, but they have really started growing on me due to Sienna.

Finally, lest we forget, the King of Gorgeousness himself:

"I don't do the outdoors."

I love my crew.

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Reprieve!

This weekend I got to escape the House O' Scorpion and head to my parents' lake house with two of my really good friends. I will admit, before leaving, I washed all of my bedding and then remade my bed- except for my pillowcases. I folded those neatly and sealed them in Ziplock bags. You know, so that nothing could move into them over the weekend while I was gone.

Brief aside, I am SERIOUSLY considering buying something like this to hang from my ceiling. When did my bedroom turn into the rainforest??

Anyway, the lake was lovely. What I did not anticipate, however, was bringing this with me:

Making himself at home.

Due to our scorpion problem, our landlords had the exterminator out Friday, right at the time I was supposed to head to the lake. As I didn't want Ramses in the house with the chemicals, he got to come with me. Have cat, will travel.

The dogs came too, of course. They seem to enjoy being at the lake house- there are lots of deer to bark/spook at, after all- and I'm sure they appreciated their mom not being a nervous wreck for a couple of days.

"Ready? And, turn!"

They did not like, however, the sound of the water lapping at walls of the dock. While the rich people with houses right on the water looked on from their lawn chairs, I took my two scaredy-cats down to water-level to see how they would react. The Corgi, after running away from each wave that came in, tentatively strode out about ankle-deep (aka not at all deep) and decided she might like the lake after all. The water dog? Couldn't even get near the waves. He stood back and stared at the spectators with a look that clearly said, "If you come and save me now, I'll be your dog forever."

Fortunately for him, we didn't stay too long, so he didn't have to rehome himself.

As my parent's lake house is in a small, East Texas town, there really was not much to do- which was great. We sampled the local cuisine by going to 2 of their 5 or so restaurants- Bubba's Too and Smokin' Gun BBQ- and found the best and worst of small town eats. We went to Bubba's on Friday night, and we got there about an hour before they closed. They had run out of fettucini alfredo, and, when I asked about the salad bar that came with two of our meals, had apparently already shut down the salad bar. No exchanges were offered; no quick salads from the kitchen either. They then brought out our food, which was very good- however, the chicken fried steak I had ordered turned out to be chicken fried chicken on the plate. I figured that after the salad bar incident there was no way I would be getting the steak- at least, not without some form of spit on it- so I happily ate the chicken. The waitress was... interesting (we dubbed her Werepanther Chrystel after the True Blood character that shared her likeness). At one point she asked us if we were on something. I guess the good folks of that town aren't used to the crazed giddyness that comes with the start of each weekend?

Smokin' Gun BBQ was excellent- so much so that we went back a second time (and were recognized for doing so). The chopped beef sandwich was great, but the chopped beef baked potato was even better- and huge. One of my friends got a slice of strawberry cake that was literally the size of Texas. We joked that, in the event of us all quitting work and staying at the lake house for a while, we'd probably have enough cake to live off of for a week or so.

All in all it was a lovely weekend. And it was definitely nice to sleep in a bed without worrying (much) about scorpions becoming entangled in my clothing while I slept, awakening me only by stinging me repeatedly (my new fear).

Today it's back to the grindstone- and on maybe 3 hours of sleep. I did finally attempt to sleep in my bed again for the first time since Tuesday, but I woke up every 30 minutes or so- sometimes gradually, sometimes by immediately sitting up in bed and brushing at myself frantically. I'm seriously considering going to bed as soon as I get home from work and sleeping until about 9- when it's dark and scorpion activity increases- and then, I don't know. Taking up late night tv watching for the rest of the night. As I am unable to ride right now due to doctor's orders, it could work out for a little while. Maybe until the first cold snap- in 4 months or so.

Yeesh.

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